week of revelations, passions and realizations

april 12 - 18

i filed my taxes and found out i have to pay. really big.

i realized i am really stressed out about my part time job that i called in sick.

i quit my part time job and parted with my boss in good terms.

i felt a sense of relief after i quit.

i joined a new choir and met really wonderful people.

i am more thankful to God for the gift of music.

i had cereal and salad for breakfast and lunch, all week.

i spent the weekend with my aunt, and i had steak, mashed potatoes, pumpkin cake, sinigang, scrambled eggs, spam, fried rice, baked salmon and pasta within a span of 24 hours.

i bought 4 new books in one day.

i finished the book i'm currently reading in a span of 2 weeks.

i was designated to organize a beauty pageant.

i finally had my car cleaned. after several months. one of my friends thought i bought a new car after seeing it newly cleaned.

i had a dream of my nephew's maternal grandfather. i realized that this was around this time of the month that he passed away about 3 years ago.

i missed this week's episode of american idol.

i came up with a plan to organize my paperwork. i think it's working.

everything is falling into place.

my gaydar

i was brought up in a straight society. i have straight friends throughout college and was led to believe that gay people are confused human beings with an artistic eye. i also thought that only those who dress flamboyantly are gay. until i joined my university choir.

of the men in my choir, about 80% of them are gay. naturally, i was exposed to their world and i realized they are everywhere! having toured with them for 8 months, i have acquired the ability to sense if someone is...gay. and this ability has come in handy in my straight dating world. i can now weed out guys who are still confused with their sexuality but date the opposite sex anyway to feel accepted.

so girls, be weary if you meet a guy who may have one or more of the following:

1. he is interested in arts, cooking, fashion, interior decorating, classical music. not to be confused with straight men who are also genuinely interested in those  fields.

2. he has a new male friend that he hangs out with a lot, and  you could not possibly imagine him being his friend...and he met that friend on an unusual setting (online, bookstore, bar)

3. he wears shirts tighter than yours - to show off his - 'biceps.'

4. he likes to go to the gym. a lot.

5. he has every issue of men's fitness magazines. he drinks protein shakes and probably has a poster /picture of a buff guy in his room.

6. such a cliche, but when he likes cher....be weary. :)

7. he buys you things that you actually like or you probably would look good in.

8. his apartment is neater or more stylish than yours. most likely it has a lot of candles, artwork and scent diffusers.

9. his bathroom may have more hygiene products than yours.

10. if you're just friends, he has night outs with people you don't really know. he does not take you with him as he normally does, and you sense his discomfort if you casually ask him his whereabouts.

although today's society is more accepting than ever before, i must admit there are a lot of men out there still not out of the closet. i have encountered several people in this situation. some of them are slowly coming out, some of them came out only to certain people they know, and some are still inside...i am not sure if the right approach is to confront them, but maybe if we make them feel that we are okay with it, then we could probably lead them out. after all, according to my openly gay friend: 'life is too short to not come out.'

crossroads

i don't know if there should be this one career that would define you and make you happy. one that you should be doing for the rest of your life and not be bothered by it. and although i have met a couple of people who have found their 'true calling,' i believe that some of us are still searching. or probably just bearing what we already undertook.

j.k. rowling had considered herself a failure at a certain point in her life. she once settled for a different career for the practical side of it, setting aside her passion for writing. but things turned around as we all know. she already knew her calling all along.

my aunt carmen had lived a hard life before marrying a successful surgeon. i remember that she used to have dreams of running a business. but now she does not need to work and just manages their household and takes care of her children. she is happy. i guess you could could say she redirected her calling to another one.

jose rizal was a doctor, a sculptor, a painter, a farmer, a historian, and a journalist. yet he was most famous for his literary contributions to philippine history, which then paved the way for the nation's current state. he maximized all his potentials.

and then there is my friend al. he had been an engineer, an architect, a broadway performer, and now a nurse. and the last time i spoke with him he does not want to be a nurse anymore. and he is a very good nurse. he is happy but cannot stick to single 'calling,' if there is such a thing.

as for my case, i am still searching. i was brought up to believe that the health care field is where i belong and i should pursue this. which i did. and i believe i am good at it. yet at the same time i have other interests that i am really good at. interests completely different from what i am doing right now. 

and then again, should we really stick to one career? or maybe we have different callings that coexist and we don't really need to choose just one.  

should i be a j.k. rowling? a carmen? a jose rizal? or an al? or all of them?

when flatulence matters

last tuesday, i was assigned to care for mrs. a, an arabic-speaking old lady who had gallbladder surgery. i has been a week since her surgery but she has not passed gas, which would be expected 1 to 2 days after surgery. this has been her main problem. 

the doctor ordered a suppository and encouraged her to walk as frequently as possible. this has not been an easy task, as she is frail, does not speak english, and had a number of gadgets connected to her. 

nevertheless, i was able to get her to walk in the hallway a couple of times, with me dragging her IV poles while she set forth with her walker, with her daughter accompanying us. what a production number it has been!

after her third trip, as she was getting back to her bed, i heard a loud long sound similar to a machine drilling through the ground. the moment me and her daughter realized that this was coming from mrs. a, we started to clap our hands. yay! finally after a week!

never thought i'd be elated at the sound of a fart. but hearing this one made my day!