right now i am cramming my ass off studying about 50 musical pieces. for the next week you see, i have 3 concerts coming up. 3 concerts. 3 sets of repertoire. and 3 different choirs. this was not supposed to be the plan. i usually am on top of things and am reliable at choir attendance. now i feel that i am a juggler and very paranoid that my choirmates are mad at me for not being able to show up all the time.
in my defense, i have a lot of things going on with work (i have 3), family (they are in town), and my professional future (applications ongoing). although the choirs are very understanding of my situation, i still don't feel right about all these and am spreading myself too thin. sure, it feels good that i am needed but i feel that they deserve my 100% professionalism. i can't back off now though...i just have to do the best i can :(
looking back, i have a long list of ' i should not have said yes to's....' and now am facing the consequences. oh well then....back to studying
