money advice to self

ok now, Aby
just settle down
you're spending way too much money
as if you're out of town

control, control
and try to tighten your belt
i'm just afraid you'd fall
if the debts are not dealt

start with your food
you don't need daily lattes
home-brewed coffee tastes just as good
from starbucks, stay away

and do you really need
to burn that much gas
stay at home, walk to the beach
you'll even be fit, that's not too much to ask

the internet is more than fine
for movies and keeping in touch
save on stamps, pay bills online
as long as no purchases are made, as such

leave your credit cards at home
do yourself a favor
and never ask for money loans
from your relatives or your neighbors

and last but not the least
let me leave you with this thought
use money wisely, but do not miss
living life at any cost

free reign

i am an artist
please let me be
i find inspiration
on all sorts of things
it happens unexpectedly

i am an artist
please let me create
let me explore
let me push boundaries
just keep the faith

i am an artist
please understand
let me mold my art
according to what my mind
tells my left hand

i am an artist
please do not take this in vain
do not tell me what do
and trust that i'll deliver
just give me free reign

kismet

i would like to think
that nothing is ever wasted
and everything is meant to be,
for what is the point of God having created
this world for you and me?

i would like to think
that sorrow has a purpose
and hatred has a place,
for how can we feel love and happiness
without the other two setting the pace?

and maybe
there are no accidents
just lessons to be learned,
for if everything would be perfect
then no one will ever be concerned

and maybe
someone we encounter
did not occur by chance,
perhaps one is meant for the other
like the Eiffel is for France!

and so i would like to think
that we are here for a reason
and we are not just existing,
we just have to wait, do not hasten
to realize life is worth living!

the piece of paper

eleven years ago, i received a piece of paper. about the size of what you get in the fortune cookie, folded, with my name written over it, and laid out on top of an old piano. for some of us who received it, it contained a message that would change our lives forever.

it is not easy to obtain that paper. a lot of time and effort was invested. a lot of doubts, second guessing yourself, and not to mention flexion of your diaphragm muscles. and this is probably why i regard this as one of the biggest achievements of my life.

yes, it made me rich. my wealth though, consists of long lasting friendships, wonderful memories and stories, and a heart load of stamps in my passport.

yes, it made me powerful. my powers though, consists of the ability to put heavy eye makeup flawlessly while riding on a moving vehicle;  the ability to survive with fifty dollars on my pocket for two months, while still managing to gain 10 pounds; and the ability to speak combined Deutsch, Spanish and gay lingo, all at once.

and yes, it made me a celebrity too. from a standing ovation given by a foreign audience, a complement from an esteemed expert, to newfound friends and admirers tagging along wherever i go.  not to mention seeing yourself make frontpage in a town's local newspaper.

but most importantly, the paper made me respect myself. i try not to settle. but instead i strive to be the best. but i know that i have to work hard to do this. and i have to play fair. those are the things that stuck with me since receiving that piece of paper.

all the recipients of that piece of paper, i believe, have the same sentiments. and that is why we are forever bonded whether or not we went through the same journey together. for we are all trained by the same master, who gave us the paper.

for you see, the message in the paper says, "you are now one of the UST Singers."