the things i'd do for free

i'd sing for the Pope
i'd eat in Japan
i'd give my own soap
to the prime minister of Thailand

all these i would do
i would do without a fee
without conditions, without dues
the payment is the opportunity

i might even consider
to do Coco Chanel's laundry
or maybe i'd deliver
Angelina Jolie's next baby

and of course i would judge
along with Simon Cowell
and i would not mind making fudge
with Paula Deen either

call it gratis, libre
libero or frei
free services i'd render
no strings, no lies

and i would not miss the chance
to keep the Dalai Lama company
and of course i'd willingly dance
with Usher or the Black Eyed Peas

i'd paint the First Family's portrait
i'd perform in Carnegie Hall
i'd happily and willingly edit
JK Rowling's new book this fall*

but then again i'm a publc servant
just your regular gal
i offer free advice, company and time
as long as you're my pal

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* i don't know if there's a new book, but can't wait for her next one!