Soneto De La Noche

When I die, I want your hands upon my eyes;
I want the light and the wheat of your beloved hands
to pass their freshness over me one more time:
I want to feel the gentleness that changed my destiny.

I want you to live while I wait for you, asleep,
I want your ears to still hear the wind,
I want you to smell the scent of the sea we both loved,
and to continue walking on the sand we walked on.

I want all that I love to keep on living,
and you whom I loved and sang above all things
to keep flowering into full bloom.

so that you can touch all that my love provides you,
so that my shadow may pass over your hair,
so that all may know the reason for my song.

- Pablo Neruda

ludwig, gus and me

i have heard of gustavo dudamel's name in passing. never thought that i would actually get to meet him, and realized that he is really big! big as someone with great talent, skill, passion, and most of all, great influence to the people.

you see, this 28 year old venezuelan is the newly appointed musical director of the world renowned los angeles philharmonic, a position usually filled by musicians twice his age. all eyes are on him. the latino community. the american musicians. his predecessors. and for his first task, he would be conducting Beethoven's 9th symphony - the ode to joy.

9 choirs. 2 weeks. a lot of high notes. i was not supposed to be singing in the chorus - but circumstances have prompted me to do so - - to my favor should i say. so, so grateful to the singers who suggested my name. such a boost to my musician life!

as we studied the 9th, amidst the complicated runs and tear drenching high C's, one can't help but wonder about ludwig van beethoven's life. he grew up with the town drunk for a father, thus making him head of the family at such an early age. eventually he became the composer of the most famous symphonies and sonatas for the last 300 years, only to become deaf. and despite all the challenges, he still managed to come up with this final masterpiece - the ode to joy - which celebrates the ideal of unity and brotherhood for all mankind.

october 3, 2009, onstage at the hollywood bowl. full moon. 17,000 people. fireworks. the l.a. philharmonic, a chorus of 180, gustavo dudamel, beethoven's 9th, and me. such a wonderful treat to be in the chorus - up close you get to watch dudamel bring out the musical best in you that you don't know you have, witness the orchestra magically weave the most complex of harmonies, and then get to be part of the symphony itself. for a chorister, this is such sheer ecstasy!!!

3 days have passed and i am still singing the ode to joy in my head. i am still at a high, smiling to myself frequently, and just happy! i have always believed that music has the ability to empower, but never in my life did i dream of it this way.

ondoy afterthoughts

“ Tragedy is a tool for the living to gain wisdom, not a guide by which to live."
- Robert Francis Kennedy -

tragedy is a tragedy. calamities are unavoidable. yet, dare i say, man can either make them worse, or prevent them from getting worse.

yes, i am talking about the floods that recently crept in my hometown, manila. several thoughts entered my mind as i learned of the devastating news. safety of my family and friends. irresponsible philippine government. 2012 phenomenon. emergency measures. money down the drain.

what bothers me most is that we are all aware of these facts: manila is prone to typhoons. manila is overcrowded and polluted. manila's drainage system is in dire need of improvement. and these facts have long been facts....ever since i was a child.

i have no memory in my lifetime that the government (present and previous) implemented measures to improve manila's population explosion. everything is almost always in manila. a new entrepreneur would open his first restaurant in manila. a maid from bohol would most likely come to manila to find an employer. call centers are most likely in manila. new condominiums are built in manila everytime i visit. all filipinos know that.

at the same time, the age of irresponsible consumerism does not help. plastic bags are everywhere - on the streets, over the waters of manila bay, in the open manholes. i have yet to see a person from manila going out from a store carrying an environment-friendly shopping bag.
very much different when i was in germany 9 years ago, where people seem to do just that.

and then disaster strikes. people need help. we are probably wise not to call the police, and instead we call tv stations for help. rescue operations are organized by private sectors. a neighbor carrying a crippled old woman up the roof. a man rescuing his friend using his jet ski. people taking matters into their own hands. not to say that the government is not involved, but where are the helicopters, where are the life boats, where are the leaders?

there is no denying though, that filipinos are resilient people. we seem to deal with tragedies as a way of life, and we can easily spring back and be happy again. but sometimes i tend to wonder if this is a good thing. are we so used to dealing with these that we just tend to accept it? can we not make it a habit to foresee that these tragedies will most likely happen and we, as a nation be more prepared the next time it strikes?